Zoom Meeting: OCPD & Our Inner Child 👶

While lightly researching this topic, I discovered that there doesn’t seem to be a single shared definition for what the concept of “inner child” means, especially when approaching it from different psychological frameworks/modalities. That being said, here are a few resources that I found helpful and clarifying:

https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/inner-child-healing

Everyone has an inner child.

You might see this inner child as a direct representation of yourself in your early years, a patchwork collection of the developmental stages you’ve passed through, or a symbol of youthful dreams and playfulness.

An awareness of your inner child can help you think back to lighter, carefree years, explains Dr. Diana Raab, author and research psychologist. “Being in touch with the joys of childhood can be an excellent way of dealing with challenging times.”

Not everyone associates childhood with playfulness and fun, though. If you experienced neglect, trauma, or other emotional pain, your inner child might feel small, vulnerable, and in need of protection. You may have buried this pain deep to hide it and protect yourself — both your present self and the child you once were.

Hiding pain doesn’t heal it. Instead, it often surfaces in your adult life, showing up as distress in personal relationships or difficulty meeting your own needs. Working to heal your inner child can help you address some of these issues.

https://www.innermelbpsychology.com.au/what-is-inner-child-work-and-how-to-get-started/

What is an inner child?

An inner child is a psychological concept that represents the childlike aspects of our personality and emotional state. It’s a metaphorical way of describing the younger parts of us that can sometimes emerge when we are faced with stressful or traumatic situations.

What is inner child work?

Inner child work involves healing emotional wounds and traumas from our childhood. It is based on the idea that our early experiences and relationships with parents, caregivers and other significant people in our lives can leave a lasting impact on our emotional and psychological wellbeing as adults. How we were taken care of by adults as children is often how we take care of ourselves as adults. For example, if the message you received at home was that strong emotions were not allowed, as an adult you are likely to feel ashamed or embarrassment when big feelings come up for you.

Inner child work involves reconnecting with the parts of yourself that might not have received the care and attention they needed when you were younger. When we care for the parts of ourselves that weren’t given the compassion that was needed, we can begin to heal some of what might have been missing in our childhood. This can help us to feel more resilient to emotional challenges as an adult and less likely to feel pulled back into the past when stressful or traumatic things happen in our lives.

ChatGPT Summary

Prompt: Summarize how someone with OCPD might explore doing “inner child” work.


Someone with Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD) might find inner child work both deeply healing and uniquely challenging. OCPD often involves rigid self-control, perfectionism, and an intolerance for vulnerability—all traits that can distance a person from their spontaneous, emotional, and playful inner child. Doing inner child work requires loosening that grip on control and learning to approach oneself with gentleness rather than criticism.

A first step might be to understand that the “inner child” represents unmet needs, emotions, or experiences that were invalidated or suppressed in childhood. For someone with OCPD, this child likely learned that love and safety depended on being “good,” “responsible,” or “perfect.” Exploring this dynamic might involve journaling about early memories of pressure, mistakes, or approval-seeking, noticing when shame or self-judgment arise, and gently asking, “What did I need in that moment that I didn’t receive?”

Because structure feels safe for many people with OCPD, creating intentional rituals around inner child work can help. Setting aside a weekly time to journal, draw, or engage in something once considered “unproductive” but joyful—like playing music, painting, or building something just for fun—can reintroduce curiosity and creativity in a tolerable way.

Therapeutic guidance can also be invaluable, especially with modalities like schema therapy or RO-DBT that integrate emotional openness and self-compassion. Over time, the goal is to transform the relationship with the inner child from one of judgment to care—learning to soothe rather than suppress emotions, to allow imperfection, and to see play not as a threat to order but as an expression of aliveness.

Inner child work for someone with OCPD is ultimately about reclaiming softness—learning that worthiness doesn’t come from control or achievement, but from the ability to nurture the vulnerable, human parts within.

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