Zoom Meeting: OCPD & Demand Sensitivity/Resistance 🙅‍♂️

Prompt: Here’s a 500-word summary exploring demand sensitivity and resistance, and how they may relate to individuals with a diagnosis of Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD):

Demand sensitivity refers to an individual’s heightened emotional or behavioral response to perceived demands, expectations, or obligations. This sensitivity can manifest as anxiety, stress, irritability, or a strong need to regain control when someone feels pressured or coerced. Demand resistance, closely related, describes the behavioral tendency to push back against those demands—either overtly (e.g., refusal or confrontation) or covertly (e.g., procrastination or passive-aggression). Together, these dynamics often reflect an internal struggle between autonomy and external control.

In individuals with Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD), demand sensitivity and resistance can be particularly pronounced. OCPD is characterized by a chronic preoccupation with orderliness, perfectionism, control, and rigid adherence to rules or moral codes. People with OCPD often experience deep discomfort when their routines or standards are disrupted, or when external demands clash with their internal values and systems of order.

For someone with OCPD, a demand—even a reasonable one—can feel threatening because it represents an intrusion on their carefully maintained sense of structure and autonomy. For example, being asked to complete a task in a different way than they prefer can be perceived not just as inconvenient, but as intolerable. This heightened sensitivity can lead to demand resistance through controlling behaviors, over-preparation, or refusal to delegate.

Demand sensitivity in OCPD may also be tied to underlying anxiety and perfectionism. The person may fear failure or disapproval if they comply with a demand they perceive as inconsistent with their high standards. Alternatively, they may resist demands to protect themselves from perceived chaos or inefficiency introduced by others’ influence. This can result in strained interpersonal relationships, as others may interpret the resistance as inflexibility, stubbornness, or defiance.

Interestingly, demand resistance in OCPD does not always stem from rebellion. Often, it arises from deep-seated fears of inadequacy or loss of control. Even when someone with OCPD complies with external demands, they may do so with significant internal distress, potentially leading to burnout or increased rigidity in other areas of life as a compensatory strategy.

Therapeutically, understanding demand sensitivity and resistance can be crucial when working with individuals with OCPD. Approaches that emphasize collaboration, autonomy, and non-confrontational communication tend to be more effective than directive or authoritative styles. Supporting the individual in identifying and challenging perfectionistic or control-oriented beliefs can also reduce demand sensitivity over time.

In sum, demand sensitivity and resistance in people with OCPD reflect a complex interplay between autonomy, anxiety, control, and identity. Recognizing these dynamics can lead to more compassionate support strategies and deeper understanding of the challenges faced by those with this personality structure.

Prompt: Here are 10 reflection questions tailored for a general audience of individuals with OCPD traits who are working through demand sensitivity and resistance on their own. These questions aim to promote self-awareness, emotional insight, and compassionate change:

1. When I feel pressured by a demand, what emotions come up for me first—stress, anger, fear, guilt, or something else?
   Try to name and explore the emotional response before jumping into action or avoidance.
2. Do I tend to see external requests as disruptions to my order or control? Why might that feel so uncomfortable or threatening to me?
3. What kinds of demands trigger the strongest resistance in me—time-related, interpersonal, authority-based, or value-based? What might these patterns be telling me?
4. When I say “no” to a demand, am I protecting something important, or am I reacting out of fear or rigidity?
   Sometimes resistance is healthy; other times, it might be driven by anxiety or perfectionism.
5. How do I usually resist demands—do I delay, overthink, argue, take over completely, or avoid altogether? What impact does that have on my relationships or peace of mind?
6. What would it look like to meet a demand in a “good enough” way rather than a perfect one? Can I allow myself that flexibility?
7. Do I equate complying with a demand with losing control or losing part of myself? What would it mean to cooperate while still honoring my values?
8. How much space do I give others in my life to influence me, and how does it feel when they do? Is there room to trust others more?
9. What personal needs might I be neglecting when I get stuck in resisting or controlling demands? Rest, connection, self-kindness?
10. What would change in my life if I could respond to demands with curiosity instead of defensiveness? How might that affect my stress, work, or relationships?

These questions can be used in journaling, personal reflection, or even as prompts in a support group or therapy setting.